missing her family

I have been thinking on this a long time...before we even left to go get our Alice, in fact...and it has taken me this long to process it. I guess I always knew when it would be the right time to share...and, for some reason, it is time. I walked by the computer and, although there are literally a million things I need to be doing right now, when I saw it, my head and heart said...today is the day. So here goes....this is a story about a name....and I believe with all of my heart that God is so intertwined in our story that He chose to also weave Himself and His sovereignty into even the smallest detail of her name.

We received our referral for Long Si Hua (龙思桦) on February 8, 2010...it was the most beautiful day..and not because of the weather. It was a day that was God-appointed (I will write about it soon, maybe). Immediately, I started researching her name and plugging it in to sites that could translate it from Chinese into English. Chinese names are very significant and rich in meaning. Every time you hear of someone finding out the meaning of their child's Chinese name, it is always something like "beautiful flower", "lotus bloom" or "white princess"...anyway, just some background, the first name listed (Long) is the child's last name in China, so it is last name first. For children in the orphanages, this usually has something to do with where they are from and every child in the orphanage will have the same "last" name. So, Long has to do with where she is from and all of her buddies had the same last name, Long. So, what I was focusing on was the Si Hua. I kept finding this...for Si: missing, thinking or pondering, grieving (as in, for one's parents)....and for Hua: birch tree. Puzzled. That didn't sound very elegant and beautiful...it sounded sad and awful. I did all of the research I knew how to do and just thought "oh well, it is what it is and we will never really know the true meaning behind it, I guess." I pushed it out of my mind the best I could, although I did think of it often and wonder about it. I had hopes that I could speak with her nannies, maybe, when we got her and they could give me more insight.

Fast forward almost 9 months later....October 22, 2010, just a few days before we left on November 3rd to go get our girl.... a few days prior, I had ordered a headband for Alice from JiayinDesigns...(Kelly from JiayinDesigns also runs the wonderful Christian adoption forum/site We Are Grafted In. While on the site, there was a chance to win one of her custom name charms...and when she did the drawing, I WON!!!! I NEVER win...but that day, God had something extra special planned. I replied that I wanted her Chinese name (思桦) on the charm and this is the reply I got.....it changed everything...it was like God just gave me a big ol' hug:

Jennifer, Whenever I place an order, I have Helen confirm the meaning of the name since some families often have the characters correct but the meaning wrong. The meaning of each name individually doesn't always tell you the meaning of the name together.

So, she emailed me back to tell me your daughter's name meant "missing birch." This seemed really unusual to me. So, I didn't just send it off to you like I normally do. I emailed her back and asked her to explain why a child would have this name. She explained that the birch tree is seen as strong and unique. It often refers to a family. So, to name a child "missing birch" would mean something like "we are missing part of our family" or perhaps in your daughter's case "she is missing her family." I didn't want to just send this off to you without emailing and asking you some questions first (to see if her birth family actually gave her this name, etc.) since I found this name to be very emotionally significant--as I'm sure you do. She carried the name "missing a family" all this time--and now she has one. And, the fact that the birch tree symbolizes the family---so entirely rich in meaning to me. It is a beautiful illustration of the grafted family that I described in the first entry on www.wearegraftedin.com -- you can read it here:

http://www.wearegraftedin.com/172/grafted-in/
Blessings to you today as you consider the richness before you --
Kelly

"WHOA....what????!!" was what I was thinking!!! I had spent all these months wondering about it and now, God was just laying this all in my lap...praise the LORD!!!! Her name meant 'missing her family'....BUT NOT ANYMORE!!! and on top of that.....we had already decided to keep her second name, Hua (桦), as part of her American name, since they called her HuaHua in the orphanage. So, we had already dropped the 'missing' or 'grieving' and just kept the 'birch'/'family'. God is sssssssoooooooooo good!

God cares about every detail of our lives…
-He collects every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8)
-He numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7)
-He knows every hurt in your heart (Psalm 34:18)

Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.