Happy Birthday to My Sweet Girl:)

Well, this is one of the more awkward days I have had...it is the birthday of my youngest daughter. My daughter that I have never touched or hugged, never tucked in, never smelled her hair or looked into her eyes and that has never heard me tell her I love her, though I have said it a million times. I am so happy today but my heart is hurting so bad. I really didn't think I would feel this way. I knew I would think of her and I would wish she was here, but I really didn't anticipate literally hurting because we are apart. As I got in bed last night a little after 11:00 pm, she had probably just finished up her rice for lunch and was getting settled into her nap (on her birthday day). There was probably no big celebration on this day for her. I prayed that on this day, she would feel love and that she would be taken care of and for her protection. I thought about her birthmother leading up to the time that she was born and what circumstances could have been surrounding her...the things going through her mind as she was about to deliver this baby girl and I prayed for her...was this her first child, or her third? Did she know she was going to have to give her up before she had her? Did she know she was going to have to give her up because she couldn't provide for her? Was she scared to death? Did she think she was the most beautiful baby in the world and still have to lay her down?? I can't imagine and I will never know the answers to these questions, but my heart breaks and I am thankful that her birthmother gave her life and I am thankful that God spoke in our lives and we listened, and I am thankful to be celebrating the day that my sweet daughter was born. I am thankful and I am humbled...

It has been 11 days since we found out about her and I am dying to show her off, hopefully our PA is on its way...so I thought, surely I could at least show one precious piece of her. Just looking at her little chubby hands makes me want to eat her up...ironic how they look so much like her sisters:) ....Happy Birthday my angel!!! We love you!!!